That's where I've been. And, things are looking pretty grassy still from where I'm at now, but I can see the view again.
What I've been wrestling with, in a nutshell, what kind of producer I am.
That's all. No big thing, right?
I have a capacious need for creativity, expression, and inspiration. I also have a Big Brain. I'm blessed, indeed. But, I sometimes feel caught in the middle between them. Heart says make movies about Human Moments. Brain says that's all well and good, but a good things-blow-up genre movie would nicely round out your cash flow as an entertainment company. Why not produce both?
I can see how to package one. I can see how to sell one. I can even see lots of good ways, visually and production-wise, of how to make one.
Because a movie, any movie, is like a baby. It needs committed parents. Parents who are in love with it.
What I've figured out in the last couple days is that my rudder for committing to producing a film is simply, I can't NOT do it. It comes down to my heart. It comes down to realizing a story has crept under my skin. My Brain can have all sorts of things, smart things, to say about lots of projects; but, my heart has to unapologetically bond to a story before I know I'm its producer.
I'm currently inspired by producers Vox3 Films. One of its partners, Steven Shainberg, made one of my favorite films, Secretary, with Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader. I like their company's mandate and their taste. And, they're art house, without apology.
I can see the view again.